Love ourselves as we leave: “One day, I answer his physical violence. I feel that we are going to be able”

Angèle is my longtime girlfriend. After spending the baccalaureate in Cannes, we settle in Paris for our studies. We stay in a large apartment loaned by its uncle in the Grande Boulevards district. We are not very faithful but we remain very accomplices. Together, we take theater lessons in a private establishment until I succeeded, a year later, the competition of a more rated school. She shortens it. For the first time since we live together, I integrate a group to which it does not belong. I’m going to be 20 years old, I want to have experiences, I am looking for strong sensations and I am open to meetings.

In this new course, I notice Amandine who is always expressed precisely on sharp and demanding subjects. His speeches are flamboyant. At ease in her thought, she gives off a form of omnipotence and seems to despise everyone, except two or three people of which I am a part. French by her mother and Malian by her father, she carries in her an inheritance which raises in my eyes of the unknown, which adds to my interest. I have the feeling that all his being is political and asks the bottom one and the same question: how to exist as a black woman? A feeling of rage rumbles in it. I see it as a volcano which at every moment can kill me.

I suggest that he work the first scene of La Dispute (1744), by Marivaux. It is a romantic encounter between two young people, Azor and Eglé, who discover for the first time one person of the other sex. Their report is very animal. At the beginning, Eglé sees a stream that reflects her image and she is beautiful. Surprised to see her, Azor hides in a bush to observe it. Fascinated, he wants to advance towards her but he is afraid. Finally, they get closer to look, hear the voice of the other, touch each other, kiss …

The intrigue merges with our nascent relationship: as we explore the other through the poetics of Marivaux, our attraction grows. Over the rehearsals, we start to go further and further in the kiss of Azor and Eglé until you put the tongue. Do we kiss for real or for false? We are “pretending to pretend”, to use Marivaux’s formula in the actors in good faith (1748). I pretend to pretend that I love her when I like it. If we think about it, you never innocently pretend to pretend in life. I am not talking about it in Angèle, I am not yet ready to leave our cocoon and our memories, I think that she knows but that she lets me live my experiences.

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/Media reports.