Tribune. We are currently experiencing an in-house, half-out of the health crisis, almost back to normal under control and encourages prudence. Should we reconnect with our old greeting rituals, and if so, to what deadline? BISE OR NOT BISE? Behind the somewhat anecdotal and futile aspect of the issue is actually involved in the form that will take the future relationships.
To understand it, it is necessary to situate this kiss in a broader context, especially from the point of view of historical evolution. Two contrary tendencies structure the mutation of social bonds for more than half a century. The first is that of a distance from the other, and the introduction of a preliminary reflection sequence before establishing a relationship. What would you have to win, and above all, what are the disadvantages and risks that could lead to me? The health crisis has of course accentuated this distance and this perception of the other as a danger.
But this substantive logical irresistible causes such a feeling of coldness and misfortune that a kind of pulsional revolt and desire for contact pushes us, on the contrary, to “let go”, to put in parentheses for a time the Reflexive brain. Especially in the intimate domain of course, where the reign of kisses, caresses and cuddles has never reached such an intensity, in any society or in any period of history.
Proximity and relational sweetness
This movement towards the other does not confine himself to the family circle. For a few decades, he has expanded to friends and even to co-workers in the form of a kiss on the cheek (touchless play without contact of the lips most of the time) to say hello. This gesture signed perfectly in the counter movement animated by the desire to show his humanity or even his affection, he had the sign of a proximity and a relational sweetness.
Especially for some very tactile propagators who diffused the ritual in larger and wider spaces, sometimes installing it in standard of unmissable behavior. The message was clear: we were not just colleagues, we were almost friends, filled with benevolence, to kiss it proved. Even the stranger that passed by there was introduced into the circle of the evidence of humanity and affection by the kiss.
“Stop the hugs!”, “Respect barrier gestures!”: The crisis suddenly broke the ritual. And we are at the exact point where we have to find it, or rephrase it. Because as for any ritual that ceases a time to operate, the disappearance of its binding character frees reflection on its remarks. And many people who agreed badly badly to submit, repressing their embarrassment or their questionings, today tend to express their reserves. Not against all kisses, but against what is considered an abusive extension. They think that this gesture should be reserved, which borrows from the romantic gestures, in intimate, family and friendly circles, do not dilute it, the galvauder.
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